MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT II: Riley & Noah

"This is the prime of my life!" Jackson yells out over the crowd, still laughing from the last card. "I'm young, hot, and full of…" he trails off as he flips the next card. "Meatloaf, the food." Jackson says this dramatically, which makes us laugh a little harder than we really should have. The group erupted into their judgments of that response before Jackson read the prompt again. "Full of…crippling debt!"

"Ain't that the god damn truth!" I yelled out. This caused a bigger eruption of laughter.

"To crippling debt!" Noah yelled, raising his glass.

"Hear, hear!" I yelled back, lifting my glass of boxed wine. All twelve of us raised our drinks, laughing at the pain, truthfully. I looked around at everyone, cheesily taking the moment in when my eyes locked onto his. This wasn't the first time I caught him looking at me tonight. We had been playing Cards Against Humanity for almost two hours now, and I had caught a handful of glances. I smirked behind my wine glass before finishing my drink and getting up to head to the bar. I pursed my lips as I tried to choose between more red or more white. I went for white Zinfandel to compromise with myself.

"So when are you and Noah just gonna get over yourselves and do it already?" My friend McKenzie appeared next to me and poured herself a glass of a red blend someone brought.

"What are you talking about?" I sipped my glass again and tried to nonchalantly check to see if he was still looking at me.

"Are you kidding me?" she chuckled. He was still staring at me. "You two have been making out with your eyes all night. You can't tell me you haven't thought about it."

Thought about it? Not at first, honestly. Noah and I have been friends since middle school. He moved to my town and got seated near me in homeroom. We just instantly clicked, but it wasn't until just after college that I noticed that things were starting to change. Suddenly I was breathless when he would do simple things like reach up to a cabinet for something, exposing his semi-toned torso, or when he playfully pushes my arm or even just smiles at me sometimes. College was really good to him. Really. Good. I had a short little fling sophomore year of college, but as we got closer to graduation, we realized we knew each other best physically, not emotionally, and neither of us were overly interested in anything further so we just ended it after we graduated.

Noah hung around for all of it. He would tell me all the time about girls constantly giggling when he walks by or how many of them approach him as a “dare to talk to the hot guy” and ask for his number. I know he was telling me those things as a friend confiding in another friend, but a big part of me was always curious if he was trying to make me jealous because damn, it made me jealous.

"Judging by your lack of response and the fact that your eyes are currently glued to him, I'm gonna guess you're currently thinking about it, in which case, gross. But also, just go do it already." McKenzie placed her hand on my shoulder, breaking my gaze at Noah, before giving one last piece of advice. "Seriously, Riley, I see the way he looks at you too. Please just go for it." She squeezed my shoulder before walking back to her seat. I turned back to the bar, drank the rest of my glass of wine, and refilled it.

I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket, and it felt like a text message. I grabbed my phone and looked at it.

From: Nemo (Noah)

What the heck did Kenz say to make you down your wine like that? lol

I looked over at him and smiled before typing a response.

To: Nemo

I'll fill you in when it kicks in ;)

Send.

Maybe it was already kicking in. I bit my bottom lip and checked the time. 11:49 p.m. I had about ten minutes left until midnight. I slid my phone in my pocket and started making my way back to the table. No one else seemed like they were paying attention to the time. I felt my phone vibrate again, with another text from Noah.

From: Nemo

Maybe it already is lol

I immediately shot my eyes up to his, finding a smirk just below those green eyes.

"We finishing the game, or should we get ready for midnight?" my friend Hutchins asked the group. Guess I wasn't the only one paying attention to the time. Everyone agreed to prep for the countdown and making their way to the TV. I just walked over with McKenzie and Hutchins, and a few other friends. Most of the group piled onto the couch onto significant others and such, and I grabbed a space on the arm of the couch. We caught the last performance of the year, but having not listened to the radio much this year, the artist meant nothing to me.

Noah sat on the other side of the room, but that's okay. Our group of friends wasn't really full of the PDA type of couples, so we were safe for the whole kiss thing I guess. Maybe we'll all just cheer?

11:52 p.m. Last commercial break before the new year. I watched as people somewhat shifted around as some got up for refills, some got more food, two went outside for a smoke, and a couple of girls went to the bathroom. I decided a joint might help me stop thinking so damn much and making something out of probably nothing. I reached into my front left pocket, my go-to spot for spare joints, and felt around for my lighter as I stood up. I made my way to the balcony and lit up. Jackson was out there, halfway through his cancer stick.

"So are you and Rosenhall finally gonna get together tonight?" he asked as the smoke drew circles around his head. I laughed and hit my joint.

"So are you and Ken gonna have wild, primal sex tonight?" I asked like it was normal conversation. His eyebrows reached his hairline.

"Excuse me?" he coughed a little.

"Well, every time I strike up a conversation with someone, they immediately go to my love and sex life so that's the theme for tonight, apparently. I'm just trying to blend in." I tried to stay stoic, but Jackson gave me his signature "you're fucking kidding right" look, and I lost it. We laughed for a minute before he went back into friend mode.

"That bad huh?" he sighed the smoke out of his lungs.

"That bad." I took another long drag from my joint.

"I'm sure Kenz already told you, but you should go for it. I fully support it, and I think it would be really good for you. If you think it's too cliche, then fuck it. Don't do it. What do I know?" Jackson flicked his cigarette off the side of the balcony and pulled me in for a side hug. "The only person you need to listen to is you, Riley. Don't forget that." He placed a gentle kiss on the side of my head and gave me one more squeeze before heading back in. I looked at my watch, and it was 11:57 p.m.

I wanted to ask myself why it was so hard to just let things happen with Noah, and then I realized the answer. I'm terrified of it not working. I know everyone gets like that, but I can't lose what I have with Noah. I don't want to even risk it. Yeah, my friends think it would work too, but would you risk losing the one person who has truly seen you through all of your shit? The one person who knows what you're thinking before the thought even pops into your own head?

I heard people yelling from inside that I was about to miss the ball drop, so I put out my joint, left it on the ashtray, and then made my way towards the door. I took a few steps in, just so I could see the TV. I didn't look around the room, just focused on the screen. If I don't see everyone else kissing, then it makes it not real, right?

"Ten! Nine! Eight!" my friends counted together. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Noah smirking as he walked over to me. I gave him a confused look as the countdown continued. As soon as the crowd said one and happy new year, my lips were meeting Noah's for the first time.